How did I end up in Theological School? by Theresa McQueen-Uber

How did I end up in theological school?

I was called. Early too. I remember talking to the Lord when I was about seven years old. I said “Lord, don’t give me a regular life.” I remember feeling like the Lord gave me a big hug. I was filled with the sense that if I were very brave and very patient, He had things for me to do. I have been looking for those things my whole life.

I consider myself to be incredibly blessed.  The home I grew up in offered a very rich religious environment. Both of my parents were active in the New Church. Important for me personally was also the fact that my grandfather, great uncle, two uncles, and ultimately four cousins, were ministers in this denomination. Religious debate was the background music for many of my family holiday celebrations. My mother’s family treats the debate of religious philosophy as a sport, and they are really good at it. These debates invariably got loud, but never got unkind.  I was fascinated. I was listening. I was moved in my heart.

Some of what I drew from these childhood experiences was a great respect for the New Church, something of a compulsion to question anything that doesn’t seem to fit, and a desire to develop the kind of passion for God that I admired in my older family members.

I don’t know when I stopped listening and learning New Church theology as a means of gathering new thoughts for myself, and when I shifted to hearing and re-phrasing them in my mind so I could communicate them to other people. I wanted to go to theological school in 1977, but experienced what I can only describe as a ‘consistent negative response’ when I voiced this desire. I didn’t know what to do. There was really no other direction I wanted to go with my life. I tried various jobs.

It wasn’t until I was living overseas for a few years, in Korea, that the Lord re-focused me through a wonderful Baptist minister, Pat. She asked me to help her lead a bible study for Korean women as a means of teaching them English, and helping them grow closer to the Lord. After a few weeks of helping her she proclaimed, “Theresa, you should be a minister!” I said that there were no women ministers in my denomination. She answered, “Then join mine!”

I couldn’t. Why? Because I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ as He is revealed through the Writings of Emanuel Swedenborg. I love the Writings and the picture of God they paint. So when I got back to the US I began to search for what I could do. I helped organize services, programs, people, and information for my New Church congregation. I led groups in Spiritual Growth, team-taught classes in religion to high school teens. I did outreach and helped congregations think through how they wanted to move forward into their futures.

When I spoke about my call I still experienced ‘consistent negative responses’ within the leadership of my denomination. So, like many women, I have struggled between the desire to stick around and work for what I see as a healthy and necessary change, or give up and move to an environment more open to women participating in spiritual leadership. I am stubborn.  In the end I decided to do both.

While cleaning out my parents home in Florida this past June I was struck by the fact that they had used their years well and fully. Was I doing the same? I realized that the feeling that the Lord gave me was that I was to be brave and patient. I had been being much more patient than I had been brave. I was afraid to take the leap and listen to my call. I was afraid to step out on my own. But it was not too late.

Some people have to go a few steps down the path and hold the flashlight for those who don’t know where to step next. They show us what it looks like to stand in a new space by going there. I am grateful for the courage and, well COURAGE, that Anna Woofenden has exhibited in this area all the years I have known her.  Go Anna. Thank you.

I decided interfaith ministry was really the only direction to go for me. My bookshelves are full of the sacred texts of most of the world’s religions, gathered over the last few decades, dog-eared and tagged. So, I enrolled in an interfaith program at the New Seminary in New York City.  I love the curriculum. I absolutely love the people I am in communion with in this program. They are awake. They are interesting. They are compassionate.

This life chapter is exciting. It’s intimidating. It’s humbling. I wake up in the morning and think “Wow. Really? This is my life? Awesome.” followed by “Help!”

Lord, if you don’t mind, I would rather you took the wheel. In my heart I hear the Lord chuckle and say, “Now you’re talking! I thought you’d never ask!”